Monday, March 02, 2009

Re: Worlds Collide

Blogging culture is fascinating to me, as a writer, because one of the most important elements of writing is knowing your audience. That is nearly impossible in the blog-world.

Here are my views about blogging as it relates to myself.

Unlike you, Bryant, who inspired this post, I feel as though I have separated out different literature versions of myself. And even saying it that way seems odd, since I wonder if it is more appropriate to describe the writing about myself as communicatory in purpose…with the goal of communicated information between groups—expecting communication in return; as opposed to literature, which perhaps is more stand alone, and doesn’t require someone to say something back to me personally. Or is all literature communicatory in its very nature?

At present, the different versions of myself occur in a few select modes.

1. My blog. I do not use my blog to explore my deepest feelings and passions, as some do. That happens in an entirely different mode. As anyone who actually reads my blog knows, I seldom write deeper than the surface. I write to entertain…myself. I started out trying to entertain others, then probably morphed to basically trying to entertain/impress Ronnie, but at some point I realized that the person I most wanted to get a laugh out of was myself. And that audience is the easiest, since I’m easily amused by myself. Sometimes I write to document events in my life, like what I’m reading, or where I’m living. But I would not describe my blog as autobiographical in purpose. And while I enjoy reading and thinking about political posts, I rarely post or comment in response. Perhaps this is because I have not drawn the boundaries of my passion regarding politics with a Sharpie. The boundaries seem vague and transient…like a moving dotted line…and I am uncomfortable representing my view because I haven’t worked out every detail of what I believe. And maybe I never will.

2. My journal. My husband could tell you that I seldom write in a journal…like once every two years, maybe. However, in theory, the word file on my computer that says Journal on it is the place where I write about my thoughts, concerns, impressions, and what is most important to me, mingled into some day to day stuff. The audience for my journal is easy…it’s just for me. One reason that these close-to-home discussions do not occur on my blog is because I wouldn’t necessarily want people commenting on them. By “discussion” I really mean, my present self writing to my present self, or my past self writing to my future self (depending if I read over it again later). Another reason that I don’t post this “literature” is because it represents one thought, at one moment, at one point in my life. I don’t like the idea of publishing an unfinished self. I feel like I’m ever changing (I may not really change that much, but I feel as though I could theoretically change millions from one season to the next), and I don’t like the idea of someone quoting my voice from a written conversation that I feel is now out of date. Why I feel this is any different from having a conversation with someone and verbally expressing my opinion, I don’t know…I could speculate that maybe I trust in the fleeting memory of people, while something written is not subject to the deterioration of the mind.

3. The last version of myself occurs in a genre of writing that my family uses called the “Letter of the Week.” Several people write one (which, interestingly, some refer to as a journal, which just goes to show how differently each person responds to the role of audience) where they detail things they have done or thought in the past week, as well as outlining anticipations for the next week. Main topics are family interactions, church service, work obligations, etc. Occasionally I write a “letter of the week” which is a way to quickly update close family on where, what, and how I’m doing. The purpose of this “communication” is definitely autobiographical, and yet, like my blog, rarely treats deep thoughts but focuses more on events.

4. I suppose that one could argue that Facebook is another version. But I think I use it more as a directory and less as a personal statement.

In summary, Bryant, I recommend that you write your blog like you’re the only one reading it. However, just as I give that recommendation a part of me disagrees on the basis that if you are writing like you’re the only person who reads it, why post it as a blog? Why not just keep a personal journal?

Maybe that wasn’t the summary. The underlying concern, then, is how much you care about people’s responses (written or otherwise) to your posts. Which is the same concern you expressed in your own blog. Thus I have accomplished nothing in terms of helping you come to a solution, although I have enjoyed writing about my own experiences with audience and purpose in writing. Clearly, I am uncomfortable with having people respond to the most personal written version of myself; therefore, I do not publicly share that version on my blog.

In summary (for real this time), maybe if you are uncomfortable with the arbitrary person reading something you would post, just don’t post it publicly. That way, you have written down what you think, with the audience of yourself, and you if you want to share that at a later time with a specific audience you have that prerogative.